You guys…today was emotional. The discussion happening regarding domestic violence in the mainstream media, social media and among communities is good. It is necessary. But it stirs up pain and emotion for many. For far too long, this topic has been swept under rugs, spoken in hushed tones or ignored altogether.
This must stop.
And so must our propensity in this culture to spend time blaming or judging the victim for their actions.
I am no expert. But I have a personal story. And I will share it. And I will hope that when I do, it will help others understand why a woman stays.
But tonight is not the night. I need time on this. Perhaps tomorrow, perhaps next week. In the mean time, I will leave you with this. I posted it on my Facebook page earlier today. I ask that you read this. Let it sink in. And ask if it is your place to judge her. That ‘her’ I speak of is any woman who has been a victim of abuse. Is it your place? Do you know what she has experienced? Can we proceed with compassion instead of blame? I think we can. To hear other’s stories on why they stayed, please check out the #WhyIStayed hashtag on Twitter.
Thank you my friends…
Much love and Hope,
H
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#YouBlameHerYouBlameMe and thousands of other women who have experienced emotional, financial, physical abuse by the hands of someone they cared for or loved.
You blame your daughters, your mothers, your sisters, friends, aunts…and wives.
You may not know what they’ve suffered in their past. You may not know they are currently suffering.
You may not know.
Shame is a powerful thing. It’s keeps us from truth and openness. It keeps us from vulnerability and courage.
But there’s a place we can start…and that’s with compassion.
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Lets remember that men are also abused. But as common, but even more humiliating and shameful in societies eyes.
Abuse is abuse. No excuse. It’s not a “mistake” made- no. It’s abuse. People who abuse are sick and need help. No two ways about it. Can’t sweep it under the rug, and plea dealing it away won’t solve for it. We need tougher laws. We need to try and help stop the cycle of abuse. Kids who witness abuse often end up abusers.
I have never been the victim is physical abuse, but have been of mental abuse. It’s not easy to over come and haunts you.
I pray the victims find strength to get help as well as their abusers.
Getting off my soap box now.
Agreed. And my intention wasn’t to forget the men. I know it happens to them as well, but that isn’t my personal story or connection and thus I didn’t feel it was my story to tell. Also agreed that abuse is abuse, no matter who is the abuser and who is the victim. I apologize for leaving men out of this post, but I was just wanting to touch on the recent story in the media.
Much work has yet to be done…and we need to continue to have discussions like these. 🙂