You know, every year I say to myself, ‘I’m getting my Christmas cards ordered before Thanksgiving so I can fill them out Thanksgiving weekend and get them in the mail on Dec. 1st!’ And every year, I feel like I fail because I don’t. Seriously. Every. Darn. Year. And you know, the only person who makes up this stupid Christmas card rule and expects me to follow it is ME! Why do I put such pressure on myself? And it doesn’t end here…
There’s the Christmas cookie baking plans, and the gingerbread house making and the ‘I should really get back to writing that funny Christmas letter to accompany our cards’. There’s the Nutcracker and the sledding and the Christmas light tours. There’s the ‘ALL Christmas gifts shall be bought and wrapped by the first week of December’ and the ‘This year, we’re putting lights and garland around the the fence lining our back yard!’.
Sooooo many expectations, sooooo little time.
Why do we do this to ourselves? We start out with great intentions that are anchored to great expectations. And I’m tired of feeling like I’m failing when I don’t meet these expectations. It poisons the whole spirit of the season. And so here I am, deciding to place a stake in the ground and make peace with my Undone CHRISTmas.
The Undone CHRISTmas. It’s what I’m calling it. Where the busy get busier. Time shrinks in many ways, all the while our lists grow longer. And the season of giving, loving, and receiving, well it all gets lost somewhere between the busy. And then, we forget all about Him. We’re so focused on the to-do list, so busy seeking perfection, that we miss the CHRIST in CHRISTmas. And what good is that?
By the time we actually get to CHRISTmas, we’re so darn tired from trying to make it all perfect, that we don’t even have the energy to celebrate and enjoy the birth of our main man, Jesus. Who are we trying to impress with all that perfection anyway? I know, Pinterest tells us we should care MORE about the best holiday desserts and drinks and parties and homemade wreaths and fudge from scratch. And here’s the thing, I like pretty things. I like my home decorated and planters on my front step filled with seasonal greens. And the Lord knows I love Fudge. I LOVE IT ALL. Christmas is my favorite season. But it’s easy to get caught up in the show of it all, isn’t it? And then, when we inevitably can’t get it all done, we end up feeling dejected and disappointed, frustrated and irritable. And how is this any way to spend CHRISTmas?
So this year, I’m practicing self acceptance by welcoming my Undone CHRISTmas. I’m embracing the imperfections and the ‘undone’ of it all. Of course, you may find me gritting my teeth through some of it, because darn it – it’s hard to let go of my perfectionism – but I’m determined to grant myself some Peace and love myself through it all.
Example One: Two bags of baking goods. Every year, just like my Christmas cards, I have grand intentions of baking more than ever! I buy bags of supplies Thanksgiving weekend and feel so excited to start baking. And then? I’m tired. And it’s a lot of work. And I think, ‘I’ll get to it tomorrow‘. And you know what? Most years, I bake half of what I planned. And then I’m mad at myself. LAME. So this year, I bought less ingredients for cookies. And I’m excusing myself from the pressure of baking ALL THE COOKIES in the universe. I’ll bake what I feel like baking. And I won’t (gritting teeth) feel guilty about what I don’t bake. Listen, I’m trying people…
Example Two: The Gingerbread House. Every year we buy one of these kits. Every year I say, ‘Hey I should try baking our own gingerbread!’ Wait. No. I lie. I never say that. But I DO say that I’ll buy one of these fancy kits and we’ll do it the middle of December and it will look the picture on the box and we WON’T EAT ANY OF THE CANDY OR FROSTING IT COMES WITH. NO WE WON’T. And every year, we quickly do it right before Christmas to get it done, and we eat half the candy that is supposed to go ON the house. Not IN our mouths. But we do it anyway. And we display the house on the counter for like a day and a half. And then we throw it away, because EW, now it’s old. Yep. It’s still sitting in the box right now. Hey, maybe we should just eat the WHOLE THING and never even put it together?!
Example Three, Four and Five: The epic Christmas Tree placed in the center of the bay window for all to see! The perfect display of the season! I want it decorated, with a beautiful tree topper and gorgeously wrapped presents beneath it – and I want it done by the Sunday night after Thanksgiving. When I walk in this room, I want to hear the Angels singing!!! Ahem. Okay, so that may be a stretch. Notice this picture. Today is December 12th. I have no tree topper. I have some presents, but not all. And the ones I have are carelessly tossed under the tree, still in their shipping boxes, none yet wrapped. Oh, and the tree is off center. BUT I LOVE IT ANYWAY! Because it’s still beautiful. It’s not perfect, and that’s okay!
This is the Undone CHRISTmas after all. One in which we are centered on Christ rather than expectations. Jesus, our home boy is our focus. And last I checked, I’m pretty sure he’s all good with undone. Because Grace. Grace is a beautiful thing. One that doesn’t require expectation or perfection.
And that’s a beautiful thing.
Mom says
Ha ha good points! I think you need the “Leg Lamp” From the tv Movie Christmas story !
This is a life lesson for us all….. Thanks, Mom
Kari says
I purposely ordered new years cards so I could take the pressure off getting my cards out. Yes. That’s true. And if they go out past January 1 I won’t care – I let myself off the hook.
I don’t really bake cause my waist has expanded enough, but i get your point we want to live a perfect Hallmark holiday. But instead we live OUR holiday and it is perfect. I struggle with being alone on Christmas Eve these days but try and now embrace that I’m luckier than most!
I love spending time with friends and family and to me, that’s what Christmas is about – love. Christ was born out of love and hence that’s my take on it.
Happy and Merry Christmas my friend!
Ho ho ho!
KK
Lynne Streeter Childress says
As I look at the email reminder that my husband sent me about putting my contacts in a spreadsheet to make our Christmas card list out of, and I ignore it, this gives me grace. It will be a win if they get our before Christmas. And I am fine with that. Jesus is grace. Thanks for the reminder.
Rik Groves says
Amen, Heather! Great attitude! You are so right about it being CHRISTmas. We all forget that at times so I appreciate your reminder. I’d like to write some more but I need to get some lights up outside or I’ll start feeling guilty! Love you honey,
Dad
mitchypoo says
Your undone Christmas tree is just perfect the way it is, this is a great post! I’m having trouble getting in the Spirit this year, but posts like yours helps.