Tell me, what is the thing that stirs your heart? What is the thing you cannot stop thinking about? What is the very thing which makes your step a bit lighter and your smile a little brighter? That is the thing that your souls wants. That is what your souls needs. Now, what are you […]
I am scared. To write. Even though it is the very thing that gives me life and makes me breathe deeper breaths. It centers me. It grounds me.
Unraveling can happen. Layers peeled back. Writing is like watering. It gives life and opens me up like a flower’s bloom, which has closed upon itself when rooted in dry and barren soil. And although the revealing is the place I am most comfortable residing, it is also the place that strips me of my armor and leaves me standing there, naked.
The ocean has always been a place of renewal for me. A place to center my mind and heart. A place where I can take all that is weighing me down, and let that shit go. I was looking forward to doing just that while watching the rhythmic dance of the ocean. In with the good, out with the bad.
As steady as the wind blows this morning, change is coming. With its fury, it isn’t backing down. With our resistance, it just seems to push harder. Perhaps that’s when we’re supposed to let go. And ride it for the adventure it is. Let it flow right through us, leaving its imprint as it parts. However, […]
And just like any hardship, I know this is exactly how I’ll make it through to the other side of this brokenness and struggle. I will stare up at the bar. I will grip it tightly. Push down my heels and pull my shoulder blades together, and I will push that bar up, faster than I have before. Even though it’s heavier.
And I will feel strong.
Losing myself and my self-worth was a gradual process through motherhood, divorce and mental illness. My son was diagnosed in his early elementary years and we’ve been through some dark and trying times of crisis. All of my energy went to him and being his advocate. Fighting for him. Over time, my energy waned. My strength deteriorated and my sense of self disappeared. I was so completely broken.
New day. New set of tulips. New light. New blooms. New chances. New reaching. New starts. New possibilities. New goals. New tries. New learnings. New lessons. New strength. New. You. A new you that isn’t tossing out the old you. But a new you that is embracing all of you. Your mistakes. Your pain. Your […]
There’s this harmonious space between unhealthy abandon and completely shielding ourselves; closing off our hearts from the love and beauty of this place we call home. I’ve been in both spaces. The place where I throw my heart completely up, out, over and in…ALL IN, unknowing and even uncaring about what it may get back. […]
We take that old language arts lesson of compare and contrast and we apply it to our bodies, our relationships, our lives. And it knocks the breath right out of the courageous lives we’re living.
Let it go.
It’s not easy. I know. I fight this battle over and over and over again. I have lived this life for forty three years; I’m half way to forty four. And I still fight this ridiculous war. Exhaustion is setting in. Why waste this precious time waging a war? Even more sobering a fact, this war is a war that I declared on myself.